Oh what a difference a year makes.

One year ago today. Mack and I were making up after a breakup. On my office floor. He allowed himself to reunite with me, but only after I apologized and groveled after breaking up with him. Because he was wearing me out with all the arguments over imagined slights. Over his jealousy of a man I dated four years earlier. And because he lived with another woman. His “roommate.” (But no jealousy for me. My suspicions were going to kill our relationship.) So many lies. So many unbelievable lies that I pretended to believe. Why? To have a man around. It was the beginning of another “honeymoon” phase. And I wanted to believe his lies. I wanted the engagement ring I wore to mean something. I wanted the fantasy to be real.

I can’t afford to believe lies any more. There’s too much at stake.

About UB Ella

UB Ella (f/k/a Unconfirmed Bachelorette) is a 50-something recovered lawyer who left the practice of law to embrace a full-time writing life. Never-married, child-free Ella resides in Austin, Texas and Ontario, Canada with her four bad cats.
This entry was posted in Abusive Relationships, Affair, Better-than-nothing, Breakup, Commitment, Drama, Forgiveness, Gaslighting, Liar, Love, Manipulation, Marriage, Mid-Life, Mindfucking, Relationships, Sex Voodoo, Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

8 Responses to Oh what a difference a year makes.

  1. Paula says:

    Oh, the may-as-well-be-made-of-dust engagement ring… You had one, too? This type of man gives the entire male species a bad name. I fell back into the honeymoon phase about three or four times. 😦


  2. 7theaven says:

    Seriously, this man. It’s sad.


  3. free penny press says:

    And look where you are a year later.. Eyes wide open instead of eyes wide shut.

    head up and onward 🙂


  4. That second sentence scares me to death. RUN from anyone who is like this ( I know easy to say, but doing is harder…). Glad you’re movin’ on – You deserve so much more! You’re right: “onward ho” – with style, grace, and determination – and joy


    • Thanks for your kind comment. Lesson learned! In this I am confident. I’ve blogged my way through it (mostly), and made it to the other side. Looking back, it’s a wonder I didn’t see how bad it was as it was happening. The desire to believe the fantasy is a powerful thing.

      Style, determination, grace, and joy: I do believe I’ve got a bit of each. 🙂


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