Category Archives: Abusive Relationships

On Spinsterhood

Wikipedia, states: Spinster is a term referring to an unmarried woman who is older than what is perceived as the prime age range during which women should marry. It could also indicate that a woman is considered unlikely to ever … Continue reading

Posted in Abusive Relationships, BigLaw, Cats, Female Attorneys, Feminism, Gender Bias at Law Firms, Law Firm Gender Bias, Lawyer, Marriage, Mid-Life, Practice of Law, Relationships, Settling, spinster, Spinster, Women Lawyers | Tagged , , , , , , , | 20 Comments

House of Cards

My suspicions were correct: my boss is cheating on his wife. At the risk of turning my blog into a BigLaw drama, I present to you an account of how his shenanigans were confirmed.* *Yes, I wrote that last phrase … Continue reading

Posted in Affair, BigLaw, Early Retirement, Retirement | Tagged , , , | 24 Comments

Reigniting Old Flames?

I think my boss is having an affair. Like this jellyfish I photographed on my trip to the Great Bear Rainforest, he’s become rather slippery. It all started a few months ago, after he went to a college reunion sans … Continue reading

Posted in Affair, BigLaw | Tagged , , , , , , | 32 Comments

Unconfirmed Bachelorette—The Early Days

You might have noticed some odd activity on my blog of late. Notices of new posts written years ago. Password protected posts. Bad links to old posts. This began when recent followers became interested in my archived posts, which date … Continue reading

Posted in Abusive Relationships, Breaking Up, Breakup, Emotional Abuse, Gaslighting, Manipulation, Narcissist, Narcissistic Abuse | Tagged , , , , | 21 Comments

Desperate Times Call for Desperate Measures

I’ve been worried about myself. My weight continues to creep up. I’ve been drinking two to four glasses of wine (or gin and tonics) nearly every evening. Sometimes more on the weekends. Walking, yoga, and meditation have been sporadic. I’ve … Continue reading

Posted in Abusive Relationships, Addiction, Alcoholism, Alzheimer's, Birds, Body Love, Death and Grief, Dementia, Depression, Domestic Violence, Elderly Parents, Family Business, Getting Unstuck, Healing, Health, Intervention, Lawyer, Living Life, Meditation/Mindfulness, Mid-Life, Nature, Photography, Sobriety, walking | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 20 Comments

The Problem

In her book, Writing Is My Drink–A Writer’s Story of Finding Her Voice (and a Guide to How You Can Too), Theo Nestor talks about the “resonant narrative.” Theo makes the important point that writers whom we admire are those … Continue reading

Posted in Death and Grief, Death of a sibling, Elderly Parents, Forgiveness, Grief, Health, Memoir, Writing | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 13 Comments

Looking at Rocks

I’ve been home from the family cabin on Lake Superior for five days. My mind had been like the lake when it’s filled with silt–cloudy, murky, particles swirling around, obscuring from view the rocks on the bottom. I’ve settled. The silt is gone. The … Continue reading

Posted in Abusive Relationships, Alcoholism, Alzheimer's, Codependency, Death of a sibling, Domestic Violence, Elderly Parents, Lake Superior, Mid-Life | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 20 Comments


A few weeks ago I had it in my head that I was going to take the high road and do some forgiving. Forgiving my sister for staying with her pedophile husband after he abused their daughter. Forgiving him for kissing me … Continue reading

Posted in Forgiveness, Healing, Sexual Abuse | Tagged , , , , | 9 Comments

The Cat Card

When you begin to feel sympathy for Norman Bates, you know it’s time to rethink your relationship with your mother. My mother, older sister to two male siblings, was a born caretaker. She married my father at nineteen and proceeded to have four children with … Continue reading

Posted in Cats, Codependency, Elderly Parents, Manipulation | Tagged , , , , | 24 Comments

Enjoy Spite

According to, “spiteful implies a mean or malicious desire for (often petty) revenge.” Recently, I had that desire. I’d been working in the garden in the morning, trying to dig up the bastard trumpet vine that would not die. The … Continue reading

Posted in Breakup, Chemistry, Drama, Jealousy, Relationships | Tagged , , , , | 7 Comments