The Five Stages of Grief:

• Denial
• Anger
• Bargaining
• Depression
• Acceptance

I know them well. I’ve gone through them countless times with both my brothers, but more often with the one who recently died. He’s been on the brink of death many times. But somehow, he’d always managed to make it back from the edge. Being with him so close to death so many times, I thought I’d gotten to Acceptance. I thought his ultimate death would be a relief.

I was wrong.

In cycling through grief, there is still the hope that this time the sobriety will stick. Or this time he’s hit rock bottom and will stop drinking again. No matter how bad things get, there is always hope.

But now, there is no hope.

Oh the finality of death. I didn’t realize I had this much grieving left to do. I thought I’d been wrung dry.

I was wrong.