Reigniting Old Flames?

I think my boss is having an affair. Like this jellyfish I photographed on my trip to the Great Bear Rainforest, he’s become rather slippery.

Slippery When Wet

Slippery When Wet

It all started a few months ago, after he went to a college reunion sans wife. Since the reunion, his behavior has grown increasingly uncharacteristic. Previously transparent regarding his comings and goings, always advising staff when he’ll be out of the office and where he’s going, suddenly he’s grown vague. He’s arrived at the office on numerous occasions after noon, with no mention that he’d planned to be out or, upon arrival, an explanation of where he’d been. Overnight work trips now take two. Out-of-town driving trips previously not requiring an overnight hotel stay, now do. Suddenly he’s arranging his own travel.

A couple of weeks ago, he came by the office on his way out of town for one of these vague marketing trips wearing blue jeans. I’ve worked for the man for a decade and have never once seen him in a pair of blue jeans. He pointedly told me a few years back that he no longer wears blue jeans. On top of that, he recently bought several new pairs of shoes. For a decade the man hasn’t given two shits about what he’s wearing, and suddenly he has new blue jeans and shoes?

As for recent out-of-town boondoggles, he has been quite content to let me skip them, going on his own. The man does not like to do marketing trips on his own, telling me on more than one occasion that he does not enjoy small talk, and that he prefers I join him as I’m better at that sort of thing. In the past, he’s practically insisted that I go with him. Now, he tells me if I go, I’ll need to take a separate car as he has a dinner scheduled with “friends.” Suddenly the man has friends all across Texas he’s never bothered to dine with in the past.

Not to mention the fact that suddenly he’s happy. He’s practically bursting with glee. One of my co-workers asked me the other day what in the hell was going on with him when he arrived at the office after a long weekend happy and chipper, engaging staff in polite conversation. The man is wearing blue jeans and having animated conversations with staff about their weekends.

Even more suspicious, he’s not micromanaging me. In fact, he’s borderline disinterested in project deadlines. He’s disappearing from the office in the face of such deadlines with nary a care in the world.

One of our partners, noticing this out-of-character behavior, asked me with a smirk if he was out doing secret job interviews.

If I may be so crude: he’s totally nailing someone. Someone he ran into at the reunion. All the signs are there. New clothes, odd comings and goings, markedly elevated mood, disinterest in the job, not being all up in my shit every minute of every day. This turn of events, while disconcerting, does have its advantages. He’s much less of a pain in the ass of late. His distraction has provided relief from his constant helicoptering. Good has become an acceptable substitute for perfection.

Assuming my suspicions are correct, this could be a very good thing for all those who work with him at BigLaw. So long as he doesn’t get dumped or caught. Then again, if it’s this obvious to me he’s rekindled an old romance, that does not bode well.

About UB Ella

UB Ella (f/k/a Unconfirmed Bachelorette) is a 50-something recovered lawyer who left the practice of law to embrace a full-time writing life. Never-married, child-free Ella resides in Austin, Texas and Ontario, Canada with her four bad cats.
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32 Responses to Reigniting Old Flames?

  1. Rivka says:

    It’s so sad how cranky people get without sex, especially when those people are married.


  2. franhunne4u says:

    But what if you suddenly start to enjoy your work?
    And yes, I am on this with you – he IS having an affair.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. rivieradinah says:

    Ah the intrigue! I agree, as far as you’re concerned, focus on the positives. You have no control over his actions or their consequences. And thank you for making me laugh out loud, as I haven’t heard the phrase “nary a care in the world” in ages!


  4. Maybe for the first time in his life he is happy.


  5. betternotbroken says:

    Sounds highly suspicious to me. Some people are of the mindset that if an affair makes you happy go for it, alas this is a short sighted vision and places immediate gratification over long term results. It is always assumed the wife is not giving the man sex and it is her fault, it’s sad really, and victim blaming on top if it. I wouldn’t make any assumptions about his marital sex life. People LIE and infidelity is lying so they are prone to lie to you as well. At least he is not involving you in the intrigue, ordering her flowers, booking trips for the two of them etc. Be thankful! It is a well written post, thanks for the laugh you never know, maybe he is on medication from a doctor and happy due to that.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. bottleofbullshit says:

    I’ve just started reading your blog, and there may be 30 years between us, but I aspire to achieve what you have. it sounds from all your posts that you’re really enjoying life and don’t need some vin rouge to do so. Amazing!


  7. lifeontheodd says:

    Be careful! Don’t say anything to anyone. I caught (by accident) a supervisor having sex with his employee and guess who lost her job? ME!

    Liked by 1 person

  8. lifeontheodd says:


    Liked by 1 person

  9. I guess I fall into the “his private life is his private life,” camp. You know, I’ve met some pretty collossal assholes who completely transformed in the right relationship. In the end, I think it’s his secret heart. But for you, it might mean he’s awakened to human complexity and the impossible loveliness of every little thing for the duration of the llove affair. Or, it might mean that he actually *becomes* a nicer man. Good love is powerful medicine. In any event, I’m sure glad its current meaning is less torment and disrespect right now. Right now can be a really long time.


  10. jrvaldes22 says:

    does he read your blog, or more importantly does his wife ready your blog? nice work!


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