Two years ago, as my mother was dying from Alzheimer’s, I wondered how my life would be different once she was gone. I felt as if I was suspended between my life before the deaths of my nuclear family, and the life I would have after they were gone. The “In Between,” I called it. As it turns out, there hasn’t been much of a transformation.
Granted, the stress I’d been under for years is greatly reduced. I’m not worrying about my father’s declining health and cognition. (He, too, died from complications of Alzheimer’s.) I’m not worrying about whether my brothers are killing themselves with alcohol. (They did.) I’m not worrying about having to see my sister’s horrible husband at holiday dinners. (Now that Mom is gone, my sister and I don’t do holiday dinners together any more. And, earlier this year, she finally divorced him.) And I’m not worrying about my mother’s declining health.
I miss my mother the most. I think this guy misses her, too.
Work is better. The unpleasant partner in North Carolina is leaving the firm on April 1; pushed out, as far as I can discern. The partner who dragged me into the heinous BigLaw merger eight years ago has divorced his wife and married his girlfriend. He plans to retire in a year or two, which means I’ll be leaving the firm then, as well. I’d planned to leave sooner, but with the market tanking, I’ll be sticking around, scooping up the income for as long as they’ll have me. Reading between the lines, that will only be as long as newly-remarried partner is around. I suppose that saves me from doing the “one-more-year” thing for more than two more years. After that, I have no idea what I’ll do.
Although I have no idea in which direction my life is headed, I have begun to nudge it in the direction I feel I’d like it to go. Finally, after a two-year hiatus, I have begun writing again. In October, I started a daily writing practice, with a goal of no less than one hour per day. That segued nicely into NaNoWriMo, which is the acronym for National Novel Writing Month. The idea is to write a 50,000-word novel during the month of November, which translates into roughly 1,667 words per day. If you meet the goal, you’ve “won” NaNoWriMo. This year was my first ever attempt at NaNoWriMo, and I am proud to report, I won. I now have my first-ever shitty first draft of a novel. I wrote an entire story, from beginning to end. Whether I will continue to work on it, or start something new now that I’ve gotten that story out of my system (at long last), I am undecided.
I’ve also been giving some thought as to where this blog is headed, now that it’s moving again. I bought a new domain: Confirmed Spinster. To start using it, I’ll need to figure out if I can transfer everything from here over to there, including you all, or whether I’ll have to start from scratch. If I do have to start over, I may just forgo the whole anonymous thing and let the world see me. I don’t think that will be terribly difficult, seeing the most sensitive aspects of my life (and those around me) appear to be behind me.
Much has happened over the past two years, but I don’t think it would be ideal blogging to spill it all out here into this post. Now that I have this entree completed, I suppose I’ll come out with it all in bits and pieces. Topics that come to mind include, but are not limited to*:
- Cat Update
- San Miguel de Allende Excursion
- Botswana Safari
- Lake Superior Cabin Update (Including Bears!)
- Condo Remodel
- Minor Flirtation
- Sister Update
*Goal: Stop writing like a lawyer.