Return to Sender!

I got a letter in the mail today. I know I turn 50 in 9 days, but holy crap. I am now eligible to join AARP.


Old man, there’s no need to feel down.
I said, old man, pick yourself off the ground.
I said, old man, cause you’re in a new town,
There’s no need to be unhappy.

But I’m eligible for A fracking ARP! I thought that was for old people.

Ella a/k/a unConfirmed Bachelorette

Ella a/k/a Confirmed Bachelorette (f/k/a Unconfirmed Bachelorette) is a 50-something recovered lawyer who left the practice of law to embrace a full-time writing life. Never-married, child-free Ella resides in Austin, Texas and Ontario, Canada with her four bad cats.


  • OLD is relative.
    Ask several decade-younger people than yourself, and you will be a “uhm – well, no, of course not”-kind of old – when the faces tell you “old woman, shut up”, ask a centenarian and you will hear a high pitched giggle … while the delighted face will deliver the message, you are still a toddler to that person.

    You are only a day or two older than me. And I am already an Uhu (german word for Eagle owl) – here: an acronym from Under Hundred.

    So maybe we should try to sort out what kind of zimmerframes we would like and start saving for our funeral.

    Or we could just ignore our age and say we celebrate the nil (in style) when we reach it – and at our age we are allowed to forget, what’s standing in front of that.

    Liked the songtext – just had to look up what the AARP stands for – shouldn’t that read AARIP?;)


    • Old is relative! My 20-something nephew was lamenting last night that he is nearing 30, which seems old to him. I told him 50 sounds old to me, and 30 young, but I don’t feel 50. I don’t feel old. Then I asked my 77 year old mother if she’s started to feel old, and if so, when. She laughed but admitted she does feel old. So if I’m like her, sometime within the next 27 years, I will start to feel old. But I hope not!

      I think you’ve got it just right–we celebrate and forget about age. AARIP Haha!


  • I’m only 4 months behind you… maybe if I sell my house and keep moving around constantly those AARP letters will never find me! (that way I can stay “young,” right?)… πŸ˜‰


  • I rcvd mine 2 years ago and I swiftly threw it away.. I still avoid their quarterly pleas for me to join the ranks of the esteemed over -50 gang..;-)


  • Ha! no matter how many times you throw their cards and letters away, they will continue to come AND later on in life, you will get other invites depending on the vast amount of advertising mailing lists. I got my first invite 15 years ago, even was stupid enough to ‘become’ president of a local chapter for 3 months when I learned I didn’t need ‘more’ BS in my life, but less! Forget the pitch but remember the message…life is for living! Since I moved into citizen housing I have seen the alternative of NOT LIVING and taking care of yourself. I now get invites for hearing aid, scooters, and other such things. It’s all about making money and targeting certain age-groups. But there are some benefits and you don’t even have to join anything…many many stores give out discounts to seniors…a term that I and others don’t like…I’m MATURE and most importantly I’m active and that’s the key…be active in your life. The gym I go to in the winter months has a high percentage of ACTIVE 60, 70 and 80 year old MATURE active people. There’s even a fellow in a wheelchair who moves himself from chair to each machine! I don’t know how I was able to hold down a full time job before…I’m so busy now I can’t get to all I want to each day!


      • staying young is a state of mind! don’t fall into the trap of being ‘old’, by any other standard the world puts out, I became more active in my 50s and once I retired @60 have been having a great life with all the new freedoms that gives me! There isn’t enough time to get in ALL I want to do! Take your time with were you are NOW and in 15 years you get those discounts without even knowing about it! Have fun!


  • I’m three months ahead of you and got the same letter. It is kind of shocking to turn the big 5-0 even without the letter. Still trying to wrap my brain around a half decade! Anyway, happy early birthday.


    • 50 is an odd birthday. 40 didn’t bother me at all. But 50 makes me feel anxious. Maybe that’s in part due to the events of late. Thanks for the HBD! I miscalculated when I said it was in 9 days. I still have one more week. May 20.


  • Have been receiving these for awhile now…First time was a reality slap. Now I just chuckle, toss them in the circular file and know I am as only old as I feel..


  • Neither Nadiya (the woman I live with) or I ever get AARP junk, though we’re more eligible for it than you are. I must be the cats. No one likes crazy old cat ladies, not even AARP. Especially our kind, the kind who have 3 crazy dogs living right along with our 4 crazy cats.


  • AARP, don’t know what that is, living here in Canada. But I do know that the whole age thing is so relative to how a person feels, thinks, takes care of themselves. I know people in their 20’s who act and seem so OLD and other people a lot older in years, who are still so vibrant and alive! 50 is nothing and 60 IS the new 40, I’ll take it. I’m not there yet, but how time flies after we pass 40. Life is such a gift. :<)


    • American Association of Retired Persons. I wish I was a retired person. I know of all kinds of fun things I could fill my working time with. Time does fly after 40. If 60 is the new 40, is 50 the new 30? Hell, I’d even take 40.


Submit a comment

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s