Last Chance

My mother slipped back into the bargaining stage with my brother’s intervention. I was very hard on her tonight trying to get through to her. I made her cry. But she understands now she has to fire him if he refuses to go to rehab. Otherwise, she’s handing him money to keep killing himself. She worries about having to do this, to tell him on her own. I told her we’ll all be there doing it together, supporting each other. She doesn’t have to do it on her own. And we’ll have a professional to guide us.

I’m so angry with my brother for adding to my mother’s pain. He should be supporting her in her time of profound grief. Instead, he is intensifying her heartache. She lost her oldest son to alcoholism in April, she lost her husband of 58 years to Alzheimer’s in October, and my brother’s drinking has intensified ten-fold. The family business is in trouble as a result. She worries about supporting herself. She worries about him losing his house if she has to fire him. She feels very alone.

I’m so angry with him. And I don’t want him to die, too.

I don’t know that the intervention will work, but it’s all we have left.

 

 

About Unconfirmed Bachelorette

Unconfirmed Bachelorette, a/k/a Ella, is a 50-something-year-old lawyer who wishes fervently she could retire from the practice of law and write full time. Never-married-childfree Ella resides in Austin, Texas with her three fluffy black rescue cats.
This entry was posted in Alcoholism, Dying, Grief, Health, Intervention and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

5 Responses to Last Chance

  1. free penny press says:

    A mother cutting off her son (work related) is a terrible decision but the upswing is she is trying to save his life which is what we as mother’s do, protect our young. I am so sorry your family is going through all of this and yes, brother is being very selfish but you must remember, it’s the disease not him. The disease is making all the decisions.. I’ll keep praying for you and your family..

    Like

    • Oh, Lynne, you are so right–my mother is faced with a terrible decision. I will remind her today of the purpose we hope to serve. And thank you for the reminder that it is the disease. I saw him on Christmas, through the disease, and was reminded of who he is undeneath. Thank you for your prayers.

      Like

  2. gertmcqueen says:

    from a Reiki healing book & cards that havs archetypal principles to help in our healing… I picked a card for you;

    It is about Grounding and Balance, Foundation. the opposite ends of this principle are, scattered and centered.

    The affirmation states; I am firmly connected to Mother Earth. I am balanced in my life.

    There is very little that you can do for either your mother or your brother, except to be there. You, on the other hand, can maintain your own sense of grounding and balance. Don’t not neglect your own sense of balance in the midst of chaos.

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    • Yes, I am feeling very scattered, Gert. I shall repeat this affirmation many times today. I need to feel balance in the midst of chaos, rather than waiting until it passes. Not an easy task, to be sure.

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      • gertmcqueen says:

        Ella I thought that perhaps a ‘blind’ draw from the deck of cards, would bring you some wisdom…glad that it can help you. And yes, it can be difficult to do at times.
        as you say this affirmation, stand firmly on your two feet, balancing equally, and just breath and you will feel better

        Like

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