I spent some time this morning browsing old Mack emails. I really need to delete them, but I’m not ready, just yet. I still want the reminder of what an abusive asshole he is. Here’s a list of a few things that made him angry.

1. Before I met him, I dated men taller than him. He’s 5′ 6″ on a good day.
2. I wore emerald earrings given to me by a guy I dated four years before meeting him. He wanted me to sell them. I’m glad I didn’t.
3. I dated men in the past with blue eyes. His are brown.
4. I wouldn’t answer emails while I was traveling and in work meetings.
5. Prior to meeting him, I dated men with jobs who could take me out and buy me a birthday gift. (Mack has no job and gets through life mooching off women. He gave me a length of rope for my birthday. To tie me  up. And, assuming I’m as narcissistic as he is, he gave me .com that is my name.)
6. My friends thought he was a loser and was using me.
7. I got angry that he was living with a woman I’d never met, whom he claimed was his “roomie.” How dare I mistrust him. How dare I be suspicious.
8. I began to feel used when he wasn’t looking for a job and expected me to pay for everything, from living expenses, to haircuts, to toothpaste. He’d call me shallow and superficial. “It’s all about the money with you,” he’d say.
9. I have cats that look like “$1000 cats.” They’re rescues.
10. When I’d say, “In order to…” He’d say, “In order? In order? Really?”
11. When I sang in the car.
12. When he got lost going to the gym. (It was my bad directions.)
13. When at the gym, I’d suggest lifting a little less weight when his form was bad. How dare I correct him in public.
14. When I wouldn’t stop on my way out the door to eat breakfast he’d cooked. It didn’t matter that I was rushing out the door to an early-morning work meeting. I was an ungrateful bitch.
15. When we talked about nicknames and I told him of the ones given to me by old boyfriends. How dare I speak of an old boyfriend. (He’d been living with the same woman for sixteen years and never hesitated to talk about her. But since he met me, she was just his “roomie.”)
16. I’d been date-raped in high school. “You’re like all the others—just another fucking victim,” he said.
17. Any time I got angry with him. I wasn’t allowed to be angry. It was an affront to him. It was wrong.