The more things change . . .

Two years ago, as my mother was dying from Alzheimer’s, I wondered how my life would be different once she was gone. I felt as if I was suspended between my life before the deaths of my nuclear family, and the life I would have after they were gone. The “In Between,” I called it. As it turns out, there hasn’t been much of a transformation.

Granted, the stress I’d been under for years is greatly reduced. I’m not worrying about my father’s declining health and cognition. (He, too, died from complications of Alzheimer’s.) I’m not worrying about whether my brothers are killing themselves with alcohol. (They did.) I’m not worrying about having to see my sister’s horrible husband at holiday dinners. (Now that Mom is gone, my sister and I don’t do holiday dinners together any more. And, earlier this year, she finally divorced him.) And I’m not worrying about my mother’s declining health.

I miss my mother the most. I think this guy misses her, too.


Work is better. The unpleasant partner in North Carolina is leaving the firm on April 1; pushed out, as far as I can discern. The partner who dragged me into the heinous BigLaw merger eight years ago has divorced his wife and married his girlfriend. He plans to retire in a year or two, which means I’ll be leaving the firm then, as well. I’d planned to leave sooner, but with the market tanking, I’ll be sticking around, scooping up the income for as long as they’ll have me. Reading between the lines, that will only be as long as newly-remarried partner is around. I suppose that saves me from doing the “one-more-year” thing for more than two more years. After that, I have no idea what I’ll do.

Although I have no idea in which direction my life is headed, I have begun to nudge it in the direction I feel I’d like it to go. Finally, after a two-year hiatus, I have begun writing again. In October, I started a daily writing practice, with a goal of no less than one hour per day. That segued nicely into NaNoWriMo, which is the acronym for National Novel Writing Month. The idea is to write a 50,000-word novel during the month of November, which translates into roughly 1,667 words per day. If you meet the goal, you’ve “won” NaNoWriMo. This year was my first ever attempt at NaNoWriMo, and I am proud to report, I won. I now have my first-ever shitty first draft of a novel. I wrote an entire story, from beginning to end. Whether I will continue to work on it, or start something new now that I’ve gotten that story out of my system (at long last), I am undecided.

I’ve also been giving some thought as to where this blog is headed, now that it’s moving again. I bought a new domain: Confirmed Spinster. To start using it, I’ll need to figure out if I can transfer everything from here over to there, including you all, or whether I’ll have to start from scratch. If I do have to start over, I may just forgo the whole anonymous thing and let the world see me. I don’t think that will be terribly difficult, seeing the most sensitive aspects of my life (and those around me) appear to be behind me.

Much has happened over the past two years, but I don’t think it would be ideal blogging to spill it all out here into this post. Now that I have this entree completed, I suppose I’ll come out with it all in bits and pieces. Topics that come to mind include, but are not limited to*:

  • Cat Update
  • San Miguel de Allende Excursion
  • Botswana Safari
  • Lake Superior Cabin Update (Including Bears!)
  • Condo Remodel
  • Minor Flirtation
  • Sister Update

*Goal: Stop writing like a lawyer.

About UB Ella

UB Ella (f/k/a Unconfirmed Bachelorette) is a 50-something recovered lawyer who left the practice of law to embrace a full-time writing life. Never-married, child-free Ella resides in Austin, Texas and Ontario, Canada with her four bad cats.
This entry was posted in Blogging, Cats, Death and Grief, Death of a sibling, Early Retirement, Female Attorneys, Long Distance Caregiving, Mid-Life, NaNoWriMo, National Novel Writing Month, Writing and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

20 Responses to The more things change . . .

  1. Voice of experience: Don’t try to shift this blog. It is messy. Just start fresh and leave a link here to the new space. It will start slow, but then will pick up speed.

    You been gone for two years? My, time flies.

    Bachelorette has a far better vibe than spinster. The words, I mean.


  2. Welcome back! I’m so happy to see you are writing again. 💞

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Chrissie says:

    Seeing your blog updates in my inbox this past week put a big smile on my face. I’m so happy you’re back. I’ve missed your writing and cat pictures!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Judy says:

    I’ve missed your writing and I’m glad you’re back writing again. My blog is going on 8 years now and I don’t write the way I used to. But I still treasure my blog because it is a testament to much of the stress I also went through when my parents were declining and my marriage ended. I wish you luck with your new found ideas and motivation to write. You have a talent for it and I don’t think you write like a lawyer at all. I love your enthusiasm!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Oh, Judy, you are lovely. We have written through many losses, haven’t we? I feel conflicted about starting a new blog or, instead, allowing this one to evolve. The name grates on me at times, these days. Perhaps that would happen with any blog, after so many years.

      Happy New Year! I hope 2019 brings you many adventures.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Judy says:

        You can certainly keep this blog to document your journey and change the title at any time. I think a new title would be great. I did that with my blog. It’s a sign of evolving and this is the time to do it with the new year. I’m just not crazy about the word spinster, though. 😊
        I think the perfect title will hit you. It’s waiting to be discovered!

        Liked by 1 person

  5. Hello, hello again 😀
    To shift the old blog in to a new one is more than a mess, it is the way to loose 80percent of your posta and photos! Better a new name 😁
    Two years! Time to go ahead and find a wonderful new Life!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. savinghabit says:

    I Love reading your blog! I take out few minutes in the afternoon to enjoy Ur writting…keep writing…it is not tricky to shift blogs…I now use you get 24x 7 customer support with it and they can provide you all info u need….I was on but it is a lot of hassle

    Liked by 1 person

  7. leggypeggy says:

    So great to see you posting again.

    Liked by 1 person

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