April 2012


Yesterday, after my gloomy post, I immersed myself in flower therapy. I got some beautiful white lilies, which look stunning against my new teal paint, if I do say so myself. Later I went to the local nursery and loaded up on Gerbera Daisies, Mexican Sage, Plumbago, Purple Moon, and Blue Daze. Now I get to do gardening therapy. It turns out a load of blue flowers is a fine way to beat the blues.

Here’s a shot of my Easter Lilies with my new teal paint (Benjamin Moore’s Pacific Ocean Blue) as a backdrop.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Here’s a second view with kitty planning her attack.

 

I have been incommunicado this week. With myself, and with you. I watched teevee three nights out of five. Damn it! And I went out with my friends and drank wine the other two. Then again, I drank a couple glasses of wine each night on teevee nights, too. I’ve been feeling surly. Okay, downright bitchy. I checked in with myself briefly a few times, and asked why. I told myself I should write, and maybe I’d work it out. But I couldn’t think of one thing to write about. I read blogs and made no comments. It was too hard. (more…)

Two weeks ago, I gave up teevee on weeknights. http://wp.me/p1jL9y-aQ The first week I caved and watched a movie Friday night (North by Northwest). Week two, this past week, I again cheated one night. Monday. I watched one hour of DVRd teevee. I’d had a bad day. I can’t recall now why. But I wanted to zone out. And so I did. I also watched Notorious with a friend on Saturday night. It seems I’m on an Alfred Hitchcock bent. 

So the first two weeks were fairly successful. I watched teevee a total of two nights out of seven, both weeks. And I learned from my infractions. It’s odd how teevee-watching is a go to mind-number for me. It’s similar in effect to alcohol or chain-smoking. (The latter of which I stopped doing years ago.) So just as I did when quitting cigarettes, it’s time to make a list of go-tos when I feel like turning on the tube.

 

 

  • Write/Blog
  • Read a book
  • Take a bath
  • Go for a walk/run
  • Pull weeds
  • Get on my elliptical
  • Do some yoga
  • Catch up on email (being careful not to get drawn into internet mind-numbing)
  • Organize a room, or maybe just a closet for starters (okay, a drawer?)
  • Listen to music

Sometimes, listening to music is difficult for me. I’d stop listening to music entirely when I was in the throes of the depression. (I’d also stopped reading and doing most exercise.) I’ve never quite understood why it’s so difficult to listen to music when I’m flattened out by depression. Perhaps it’s because music is about feeling, and when I’m depressed, I don’t feel much of anything. Except hopeless.

Alcohol is not a substitute for teevee. Although last night, it was. I went to a rubber-chicken work-related function. Only it was rice enchiladas instead of rubber chicken. (Have you even heard of rice enchiladas? No? There’s a good reason for that.) They had complimentary wine and beer, and cash margaritas. The wine was crap so I paid for a margarita. And I had the bartender make me a double. How else can you get through one of those awards ceremonies? At dinner, I switched to the crap wine. To go with my rice enchilada. (Who in the hell ever heard of a rice enchilada?) Today, I’m suffering the effects of a double margarita and too much crap wine. And two rice enchiladas. My head hurts. I’m tired. I slept terribly for the first time in weeks. I haven’t had a hangover since the days of Mack. The days of wine and narcissists.

No. Alcohol is no substitute for teevee.

If anyone has other ideas to add to my list of teevee substitutions, I’d be delighted to hear them.

 

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